i started to love him, even though i tried so hard not to. after everything i've been thru, i dont have the will to fall again, and no guts to even let myself fall.
browsed their fs just now. their pics shows how hard they've maintain what they have, and surely shows how much they cherrishes each other. and it would be big mistake to let myself in. i felt sad, dissapointed with myself, foolish, and happy at the same time just looking at them smiling together.

what am i, really? cant i get myself what is mine? is it all my fault? should i end it now (for sure, i should). but to whom will i turn to? i feel as if i've been given a feeling that teach me again to feel blessed and loved, only to find out in the end, that it's not actually mine to have.